the bachelorette: emily, men tell all

Okay, I know.  I haven't recapped in awhile.  One would think that without a full-time job, I would have more time on my hands.  But no, I am still busy, just an unpredictable type of busy.  I am doing things that I normally don't do during the school year:  

1) I had dinner ready when my husband came home TWICE IN A ROW this week, and both meals were edible.

AND 

(wait for it)

2) I caught up with the laundry.  YES, I did it!  I really feel like I should earn a medal.   A big, gold one, like what Michael Phelps earns every time he enters a pool.  Seriously, it's on the same level.  I now belong to a very elite club of badass laundry completers.  

But anyway, I digress.  Or brag.  Or whatever you want to call it.  On to more important things: The Bachelorette!

Wow.  Could you feel the love in that room or what?  I couldn't tell who the guys liked more, Emily or each other.  Well, other than Chris and Ryan.  Those two have some serious peacock feathers.  Oh yeah, and Kalon.  What a clown that guy is.  Anyone else notice in the Bachelor Pad previews that he hooks up with Lindzi from Ben's season?  What was she thinking?

But there was one part of the show that I couldn't figure out: Sean's reaction when seeing Emily.  As much as Sean's heart was broken, he was all smiles when he saw her.  And vice versa.  Um, I have NEVER smiled when I have seen my exes.  It could be because they aren't as good looking as Emily (how could you not smile when you see her, she's West Virginia Hoodrat Backwoods Barbie.)  OR it's more likely that the relationship went sour and now I hate you.  

No, I think something's going on here that we don't know about.  I may be blinded by my love for Sean and therefore in denial that he is out of the running, but here's my prediction: she leaves Arie AND Jef and gets back together with Sean.  !!!!!!!!  Okay maybe not.  But he could be the next Bachelor!?  All I know is, this can't be the last we see of Sean on TV, or I will be having words with Chris Harrison.  Don't make me use my teacher voice!

Who do you think Emily will pick on Sunday?

the bachelorette: week 7 recap

One-on-One with Arie

Emily and the boys arrive in Prague and Arie gets the first one-on-one.  Chris is pissed.  Emily and Arie go sightseeing in Prague.  Everyone is in winter coats and Emily is wearing shorts.  Emily taunts Arie because she is mad about a secret he doesn't know he's keeping.  Super passive aggressive!  

Emily leaves Arie to discuss the fact that Cassie Lambert (the show's producer) and Arie briefly dated 10 years ago.  Emily is legit mad and completely overreacting.  Who cares?

Back to the date:
Emily continues to taunt Arie but never comes out and expresses why she is upset.  It's clear that he is not picking up on her vibes.  Eventually, they have an off-air conversation (why didn't they show this???  It would have been the only exciting thing on this show!)  Emily and Arie kiss and make up.  Arie tells Emily he loves her.

Meanwhile, back at the hotel...

Chris is starting to boil with jealousy.  John worries that he is going home.  But John gets the next one-on-one.  Of course, Chris is pissed.

One-on-One with John

John admits that he puts a wall up and has a hard time communicating.  Not a good start buddy.  Emily says she likes John as a person.  Then they write love notes on a lock.  John can't close the lock, which is a bad sign for Emily.
Emily and John continue their date with dinner in a dungeon.  John admits his last girlfriend cheated on him.  Red flag!  No wonder he puts a wall up.  Also, he thinks the phrase is "two peas in a pot."  It's not.  It's "two peas in a POD."  If I were Emily, I would have totally ragged on him for that.

Meanwhile, back at the hotel...

Arie, Jef, and Chris discuss their relationship with Emily.  Jef notices that Chris is "off."  Chris says he's tired.  Jef doesn't buy it.  Chris resorts to drinking.

Group date names are announced, and they are Sean, Chris, and Doug.  Sean describes Chris as "crumbling under the pressure."  John comes home and says the date went perfectly.  Chris is about to lose it bigtime.  Sean leaves the hotel and runs around Prague to find Emily.  He finds her and Emily seems very happy to see him.  Sean and Emily kiss and then grab a beer.  Emily can't stop saying how happy she is.  They don't seem to drink any beer.  They just kiss a lot.  (P.S. I predict she picks him!)

Group Date

Emily is dressed appropriately for the weather.  Chris constantly complains about how pissed he is.  Doug offers his umbrella to Emily even though she already has one.  Seriously dude?  They arrive at the castle and Doug reminds everyone how much his son would love this place.  Emily and Doug have some alone time, in which he confesses that if she picked him in the end, they would be "just starting out."  Emily tries to dump him, but is interrupted by Doug kissing her.  Obviously, he's not picking up on the vibes.  Too little, too late bud.  She tells him he's been a gentleman to a fault and sends him home.  Doug concludes that his girl radar is broken.  Then he cries.

The group date suddenly becomes a two-on-one.  Awkward.  Chris says he's not intimidated by Sean.  Sean's "big key" opens the lock and he earns the first chat.  Flirting and kissing ensues.  Meanwhile, Chris feels like he's fighting an uphill battle.

Chris spends his chat with Emily telling her how upset he is that he didn't get a one-on-one date.  He is constantly making her reassure him.  He needs to go home.

Emily says that this group date rose she gives out will be the most important one she's ever given.  Then she gives it to Sean.  It's beyond obvious that Chris is pissed off.  He looks like he might murder someone.  He confesses, "If I don't get a hometown date, I'll be scared for anybody around me."  Wow.  Someone needs to tell him it's just a show and none of it is actually real.

Meanwhile, back at the hotel...

Jef gets his one-on-one date card.  The boys discuss what will happen if Sean or Chris gets the rose.  They agree that it will be worse if Chris gets the rose because he'll throw it in their faces.  

One-on-One with Jef

Jef and Emily "happen upon" some marionettes.  Emily thinks Jef is ready to be a dad because he's a big kid.  What?  But then he buys a marionette for Ricky.  Very cute.  Emily and Jef go to an old library and reenact their relationship through their puppets.  Totally reminds me of What about Bob.  The whole thing was very weird.  He tells her he loves her through his puppet!

The date continues with them lying on a blanket on the library floor.  Jef admits that if his family doesn't like Emily, he will dump her.  Jef and Emily discuss their future and whether or not they'd live together and when they'd have kids.  Emily worries that Jef won't be a good disciplinarian.

Meanwhile, back at the hotel...

Chris and John discuss Chris' bad behavior on the group date.  John makes sure to rub it in that his date went really well.

Rose Ceremony

Tension is in the air between John and Chris.  Chris admits that he was a jerk on the date and hopes he can clear it up during the cocktail hour.  I love Emily's hair!  Not crazy about the top of her dress though.  I'm not a big fan of cowl necks.

Chris Harrison announces that there will be no cocktail party.  Chris is practically in tears with anxiety, while John bounces out of his seat with joy.  Sean tells Arie that this is Chris' worst nightmare.  Chris still thinks he's the best man for her.  

Roses go to Jef and Arie (no surprise there).  Right before she gives out the last rose, Chris asks to talk to Emily.  He apologizes and she gives the remaining rose to him.  To be honest, I was a little shocked.  While I know she doesn't see a whole lot of sparks with John, at least he's not showing an angry temper!  She should have kicked Chris to the curb for being such a whiney bitch.  But what I really want to know is would she have made the same decision had Chris not pulled her aside??  What do you think?

Next stop: Hometowns!

where in the world is emily maynard?

In light of tonight's episode, I discovered where Croatia is.  Turns out it's just a hop, skip, and a jump from Italy (nice job, Croatia).  I made a little map for you in case you want to know too.

Nice drawing huh?  I have been practicing on Draw Something.  More to come on tonight's episode of The Bachelorette later this week.

the bachelorette: emily

My last day of school was Tuesday, and I have to admit I was so sad, I cried on the way to school.  Every year I say, "I had the best class this year," and every June it gets harder and harder to say goodbye.  But then I had my first full day off, and I remembered....

My sadness quickly dissolved.

But  I was a little worried: without lessons and kids to say funny things, what am I supposed to blog about?  And without my blog to distract me, I might actually have to tackle the huge pile of laundry downstairs!  So, I decided to create a new page on my blog titled "timeout" dedicated to my life outside the classroom.  And of course, there is no better way to celebrate this new page with a post about one of my favorite guilty pleasures: The Bachelorette!


This season of The Bachelorette is amazing!  I love Emily: her style, her candidness, and her southern charm.  She also has some good guys competing for her hand, which she deserves.  Usually, I get bored watching the guys hang out at the house, but this year there is some serious bromance going on AND some serious drama.  I've given my lowdown on the guys who are left, but first, a small rant.


I was a little disappointed with Emily on this week's group date.  She was so upset about the fact that none of the guys told her about Kalon's comment that she didn't give out the rose.  But Doug did tell her about Kalon!  Hello!  Give him a little credit here.

But I still love you.  Alright, now for the guys.

Arie

Love you!  Arie is super sweet, down-to-earth, and seems to genuinely care about Emily.  Buttttt, he is a weird kisser.  He makes a duckface when he's moving in, and it reminds me of a dementor from Harry Potter.  He also used to date The Bachelorette producer Cassie Lambert.  Not sure how Emily feels about this, but if these are his only negative qualities, I could overlook them.  Everyone has an ex or two and she seems to like his kisses.  I think he's going to be one of the final 3.

Ryan

This guy is ridiculous.  His hair is out of control.  Guy, it's obvious you have a receding hairline, there is no way to hide it.  And what is with the scarves?  I have to admit though, I think he is totally hot.  I know!  I know.  Just like Emily, I am taken in by his charm.  He showers her with attention and makes her feel special.  While I'm not sure if he is just in it for the game, his attempts at romance are funnyyyyy.

Travis

He hasn't been on the show too much until this latest episode.  He really stood out on the group date with his humor.  He is a goofball and Emily was into it.  I also like his southern accent.  Sexy.

"Wolf"

Sorry bud.  She's not into you.

Sean

This guy is my favorite.  He's hot, he's nice, and he's a real man.  Emily seems to really like him, but if she picks him in the end, she better watch out.  Her blonde friend was way too into his muscles!  

Chris

I might be the only girl in the world who thinks this, but I just don't think Chris is attractive.  I think he's odd-looking.  But he is a nice guy and has really big biceps.  They definitely have a connection, but he's not going to make it to the end.  I think he has some underlying insecurities, which will come out later in the show.  

Doug

There's something not right about this guy, and Emily knows it.  A couple episodes ago, she described him as too perfect.  I think he's hiding something: either he's too sensitive or he's insecure.  Both of these equal not a real man.  Emily wants a real man.  Sorry Doug, but you're going home.

Jef

I really wasn't sure about Jef until this episode.  I know Emily likes him a lot, but I just couldn't see her with him.  She doesn't seem like the Sk8er Boi type.  But after their one-on-one date, he seems very genuine and drama free.  And they finally kissed!!  I predict that he will also make it to the final 3.

Next stop: Croatia?  Where the heck is Croatia?  I think I'm going to have to get out a world map before Monday.  (Don't judge me.  I teach US History not World Geography.)